Today I was thinking about perception, and how we may not realize the image that we are presenting to the rest of the world. I recently got told by a friend that when they first met me, they thought I was vain, self absorbed, and stuck up. Now I will fully admit that yes I can be self-absorbed. And I'm definitely guilty of my fair share of vanity... However, I really don't see myself as being snobbish or stuck up. I definitely don't think I have a superiority complex. So, I asked the friend to explain her observations. And she responded, "Well you never really talked much and were always doing your own thing, keeping to yourself..."
The thing is, that I met this friend at work. And when I first started work, I spent a lot of time learning my job, trying to absorb as much as I could. My reasoning was that knowledge is power, and I wanted to be the very best that I could be at my job. So of course it could seem like I was always doing my own thing, because I was. And the other thing is that in certain situations, I can be fairly shy. Get me in a club and I will be the first person out there dancing with no shirt, and talking to every guy there... but at work I feel kind of out of my element, and I'm always afraid that I'm gonna fuck up. Eventually I made friends at my current job, and now to an extent they know the real Jake... (and to one of the three co-workers that reads this... no I do not make out with hot guys in the empty conference rooms... it was only that one time!) But honestly in the beginning I was just really shy. So I wonder how often I judge a book by its cover. I know that I am just as guilty of this as the next person.
For example, there is this girl that works with me that is GORGEOUS!!!! You know the type, long legs, flawless skin, perfect hair. And... she dresses like a stripper. A well paid stripper, but still a stripper. Now most people would look at her and assume that she's a tramp, or an idiot. But I've got to know her some, and she is so sweet, so caring, and she's currently in law school. And not a tramp or a stripper. So once again you never can be sure how you come across to others. At the end of the day I've learned to accept that I am kind of complex. I'm hyper, moody, temperamental, opinionated, sensitive, emotional, exhausting... but I'm me, and I'm okay with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment